Going through child custody matters is a difficult situation because you have to try to put your own emotions aside so you can focus on your child’s needs. This is made even more challenging because you also have to contend with what your ex feels is best for the kids. There are a few things that you can do to help the situation.
One of the most important things to remember is that you need to stay on task. You can’t let discussions that are supposed to be about the kids venture into the troubles between you and your ex. Don’t start bringing up the things your ex did that led to the divorce unless they directly impact your kids. (You should, of course, bring up instances of abuse and similar matters because those can affect the children.)
When you’re considering the parenting guidelines that are being proposed, make sure that you and your ex both understand what those provisions are about. There’s a chance that some could be misconstrued, which can lead to considerable trouble in the future. Be sure that you discuss the basic rules that will keep things in line while you’re raising the children. These include things like the parenting time schedule and the means of communication between you and your ex. Having all of this in writing is beneficial so that you can go back to review it later if there are questions about what needs to happen.
Everything that you and your ex decide about the children should be based on what they need now. You can’t think too far into the future but you can always modify the order to meet those needs later if necessary.